God has not promised me a trial free life. Quite the opposite actually. Many times I have romanticized the scripture from Matthew 16: 24-27 which states:
“Then Jesus said to His disciples, ‘If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save His life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul? For the Son of Man will come in the glory of His Father with His angels, and then He will reward each according to his works.”
Now looking at that scripture you may ask yourself, “How can anyone romanticize that?” I must agree that it is a pretty straight forward statement that Christ is calling us to. Sometimes I agree with something in my head but not with my heart. If I truly agreed with this calling with my heart I would not question God when I am uncomfortable, when I am wronged or when I do not feel appreciated. This is where I feel that we have misconstrued the invitation that Christ has given us.
This morning God spoke to me saying, “Aubrie you are precious to Me. Just like I watched My only begotten Son be beaten and tortured to death and did nothing to stop it, there will be times of trials and tortures upon you that I will not intervene.” Most people that read this will say that there is no way that God would ever say that, let alone allow that to happen to someone He loves, to someone who has committed their life to Him. Or would He?
“God never lied about the danger or cost associated with becoming His follower.” In Matthew 10:16 He tells us,
“I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.”
When God spoke this to me I asked for Him to show me this truth in His Word.
In the book “Unleashed” by Erwin McManus (formally entitled “The Barbarian Way) the author references Matthew 11: 1-6. Look it up for yourself but an overview of the whole situation is that John the Baptist prepared the way for Jesus Christ to come. Later, which we see in Matthew 11, John is imprisoned and hears about the works of Christ and sends his disciples to Jesus to ask,
“Are You the Coming One, or do we look for another?”
Christ responds with,
“The blind see and the lame walk; the lepers are cleansed and the deaf hear; the dead are raised up and the poor have the gospel preached to them. And blessed is he who is not offended because of Me.”
Now as you study this out you will see that John already knew who Jesus was, he already knew that Jesus could perform those miracles. So why the question of Christ? I believe that John was saying, “Hey are you not the Savior, come relieve me of this trial, I know you can.” Is that not what we say to God when we face trials, when we are wronged or when our circumstances are not how we would like them to be? We say, “Hey God, if you can raise the dead, surely You can get me out of this.”
Look again how Christ responds,
“Blessed is he who is not offended because of Me.”
Christ then goes on with whatever He was doing, even leaves town and does not attempted to get John out of prison. John's response to Christ could lead to being blessed or cursed. If John chose not to be offended then he would be blessed. This is where we need to have the right perspective of the invitation. “Even Jesus understood His purpose was to save us not from pain and suffering, but from meaninglessness. For Jesus, John was exactly where he needed to be, fulfilling God's purposes for his life.”
So let us not romanticize or misconstrued the invitation that Christ has offered us. Just like with John, Christ will allow us to go through trials and testing. God knows that plans that He has for us, they are for good not for evil. Yes there will be tribulations, distresses, dishonor, and unknown. 2Cor. 6:4-10 However, we can stand knowing that our light affliction is but for a moment, that it is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory. 2 Cor. 4:16-18
God is working with us to save us from meaninglessness, not for us to get caught up in the mundane, blah life. I pray that we would run the race in such a way that we may obtain the imperishable crown. Run without uncertainty. Fight not as one who beats the air. For we know whom we have believed and we are persuaded that He is able to keep what we have committed to Him until that Day. 1Cor. 9:24-27, 2 Tim. 1:12
As I look at
the past year of my life I think of all that the Lord has done.He has healed people immediately of minor and
major sicknesses, multiplied food when there was need, set the captives free by
casting out demons, given favor in time of great trouble, and given protection
and guidance as I traveled from country to country.God has been so good and faithful!
However,
being back to the states has been more challenging than I anticipated.Since being back I have known God but I have
not “experienced” God in the ways I have in the past year.The God I have known before June 2011 has
been a God of abundance, favor, and great power.These are still all attributes of God but in
the last 4 ½ months I have known God differently.
I am
currently reading a book entitled, “Shattered Dreams” by Larry Crabb.This book is helping me to pinpoint by
disappointment I have with myself and with God due to my expectations of being
back to the States.One insight that Mr.
Crabb shares is that we, as American Christians, feel entitled to quick
sanctification and happiness at all times.
(STOP.Side
note:If you feel offended by the
specific term of “American Christians” check yourself and take it to the
Lord.Reality is that as American's we
do have our own type of Christianity that we need to get in order with God.)
We openly confess
God wants us to have a good life and to be happy.We also boldly claim that “All things work together
for our good” and that “everything helps us to God.”The latter of these two statements are true
but we tend to claim them according to our terms.I have been learning that God does not and
most likely will not work things out the way I think that He should.
This is
where our entitlement comes in.“I am a
follower of God, I try to be obedient, I ‘sacrifice' my time and money. For
goodness sake I have given Him a year of my life; I deserve to live in the
fullness of Christ.”When we find
ourselves saying these things we should recognize that we only know God as the
One who gives us stuff not as our Lord.It
is here we have missed the point, we have missed God.
God does not
owe us anything; it is in His goodness that He fulfills His promises in our
lives.God is continually trying to
bring us to the point where we listen to our heart's true desire that we should
return to our first love.If that means
God withholds His provision for a time in order to bring us to this place then
so be it.It does not change who He is
but it will change who we are.
In these
times so often we become so offended and discouraged because God did not work
out things as He should have.We blame
God for being unfaithful and lose trust in Him.I believe that through these breaking times we come to realize that in
all actuality we have trusted ourselves and our ways of thinking.We have only failed ourselves, God did not
fail us.
Maybe that
is why God allows us to “work out our own salvation” and fail in our ways in
order to come to the end of ourselves and that we not only need God but also desire
God and His ways. For God's ways and
plans are perfect and He truly “works all things together for our good,”
knowing that He draws us closer to Him.
Being back
in the States has been more challenging than I expected and my life looks
different than I planned it to be.Even
though I have not been back on the field yet God has done me a greater service,
He's drawn me closer to Him!
Every night I brush my teeth with three devout Muslim men. Well to be fair I brush my teeth as they go about their daily chores washing dishes, checking laundry, watching t.v., and even praying. To be even more fair they don't know I am watching. Creepy I know, but their apartment is across a ten foot alley from mine and neither of us has glass windows, just bars.
This month I live above a restaurant in the heart of Kuala Lumpur or KL as the natives call it. We sleep on mattresses on the floor of a large room they have re purposed for a church. It isn't like any American church I've ever been to in fact it is far more akin to some of the Haitian churches I have visited. Its 8 foot windows have only wire and old poster board to cover them. The rain blows in and cools us off at night. The bathrooms are luxurious for World Race standards, aka there is a sink and a shower head in make shift room with bowls to flush the toilet. Our kitchen is two tables in a room with a sink, and I have more than once woken up to the scurry of a roach on my pillow. Yet, there is electricity, clean water, a lock on the doors, and our 5 Malay roommate to make us feel more at ease.
And each night I stand at the bathroom sink staring out of the large window watching these men go about their day just like me. They wear traditional Muslim garb and sit around the table reading newspapers and eating toast. They laugh with each other and playfully slap one another on the back. I can't help but see how similar we are. They brush their teeth just like their parents taught them,and every now and then we make a polite wave towards one another, and go about our lives.We coexist.
The sad part is this shouldn't be so shocking to me. Coexisting shouldn't surprise me at all! But it did.
So tonight as I sat there swishing my Listerine my eyes burning with tears, it wasn't from the alcohol burning the germs in my mouth. (the commercials are a total lie by the way, and the only refreshing part about mouth wash is spitting it out!) But my eyes welled with humility. Because despite my years studying international relations and politics at Wheaton, or my time living in Chicago, or growing up in D.C., or my parents, or my travels across the globe and back, I had become racist!
Here I was puzzling at how these Muslim men and I could be living within literally feet of each other, as if we weren't both human. As if they didn't cry when the used mouth wash, or clean their dishes, or read the newspaper. I didn't have to wonder for long how I had become like this, because I knew. I knew that thence 2001 when I was only 12 years old the media had painted these men as my enemy. I watched movie after movie where their only depiction was as terrorists. I saw faces that looked like theirs on the news. I saw names like theirs scroll across the bottom of the t.v. attached to bombs that killed people in markets and buses. I was racist because I was trained to see all Muslims as the enemy.
That sounds extreme doesn't it? It sounds like I am claiming to be brainwashed, like I am not responsible for my own opinions. But that is the truth, I have been culturally conditioned to believe that all men like this would hurt me if given the opportunity. Jack Bower taught me that. I have been taught that all Muslim mosques are covers for terror cells, Lie to me taught me that. I have been taught that the war on terror looks like Muslim men who wear facial hair and robes in public, the nightly news taught me that.
But today in the market I learned that me and a woman in a full burka use the same shampoo, and me and little 6 year old Muslim boy both like fruit mentos, and me and my Muslim neighbors prefer milk in our tea and to use Listerine after we brush our teeth.
I know back home today there is a lot of fear. Fear that people will retaliate for what happened to Osama Bin Laden. But I can tell you that same fear ran through the veins of Muslim men and women all across the globe the day after September 11th. Fear that because of what one group of Muslims did there would be retaliation. It's been almost a decade since Osama's name became a household insignia for terror, and in those ten years, almost half of my life, I had been taught to associate him with all Muslim men. But so had my neighbors. In their newspaper I am the enemy, on their nightly news it is my father, brother, or son that is killing their people. To them I am the enemy. Which is exactly what Satan wants. He wants these men to see people who look like me, who talk like me, who dress like me and to judge us, the same way I judged them. To not see my humanity. After all that is what racism is, it is to dehumanize someone.
These picture are what I see daily here in KL, these are the faces of the Muslim world we rarely see in the west. If we want to end the violence, or avoid retaliation we need to stop letting the enemy make us each other's enemy. We first must see each other's humanity.
Maybe somehow you have been able to stand strong against the media barrage or the societal disapproval of Muslims. But if by the off chance in light of recent events you are like me and need to be reminded.
Then allow me the humbling privilege to remind you that women in burkas need shampoo too and that they too have kids that beg for candy at the check out line. Because "All men are created equal" is more than an upstanding sentiment; it is a fundamental truth! Elaborated on by one of our founding fathers but testified to originally in scripture when Jesus came for all men, Jew, and gentile alike! And the blood that He shed wasn't just for sinners like you and me, but for the Muslim men who I brush my teeth with every night.
Here are some video's of our ministry in the Philippines. They were created by my squad mate Daniel Durick. Check out his blog at http://danieldurick.theworldrace.org and leave him a message about how wonderful his video's are!
One afternoon Kayla and I were prayer walking with one of the ministry contacts from this month. There were women covered from head to toe as to make sure none of their flesh was showing. Men with red painted foreheads that could be seen from a block away. Then there were the "average Joe's" that made you wonder how they fit in here. Black, white, tan, yellow, brown, all shades of skin, all adorned in their particular religious attire, lined the streets. There is no mystery as to why Malaysia is called the melting pot. It's as if the world has collided here in KL, Malaysia. To our left was a three hundred year old Mosque, conveniently located in the center most part of the city and to our right a Burger King with a 7/11 just down the block. The sight just makes you tilt your head at the amusement of it all.
As we continued to walk toward the market I prayed that the Lord would give me His heart for the people and for the city. Thus far it had been a very busy day of ministry and I was struggling to walk, let alone care to minister to the people we would come in contact with.
We passed by stands selling clothing, flip-flops, various knickknacks, and religious propaganda. Our contact stopped at a Muslim shop were we started talking about the beads that are worn around their necks for prayer. The owner quickly jumped up to aid us with the merchandise. Along with the beads there were bottles of oil and perfume.
We asked the young Muslim man what the purpose was for the oil. He first explained that it was cleansing for the outside of the body and for the soul. Just like humans, Angels also like the smell of the perfume and using the oil attacks their presence. From there we talked more in depth about the various purposes of the oil eventually leading to the purpose of Muslim lifestyle.
The young man described the discipline of prayer, the best times to pray, and how one should act after prayer as to not erase all the effort with a sin. He explained the requirements of prayer and as he continued talking, listing qualification after qualification I started tearing up. All the prayer time, rituals, observances, and effort for something that may or may not happen. Observing all of these things doesn't guarantee any sort of salvation or afterlife.
Looking at it from his perspective I realized that there is no way that I would make it. I instantly felt defeated and hopeless when looking at all that would have to be done to maybe or maybe not receive salvation. All the effort, all the doing, all the striving.
Praise Jesus Christ that He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life! He's taken away our sin (Luke 1:29), we are guaranteed eternal life (John 3:16), we are given this gift if only we are willing to come to Him to have life (John 5:40). With Christ we do not have to "fix ourselves", earn our salvation, strive for acceptance. We are given the gift of salvation, not because of our right doing but because of the Father's love for us.
How many times are we like the young man that I met? Performing rituals and observances like going to church, attending extra bible studies, and over exerting ourselves in the name of Jesus because "it's what we should do." True Christianity isn't about fulfilling a qualification but serving out of heart for our Christ.
We serve a Great, True and Living God! If only we are willing to come to Him to have life!
For a while now I have been working on how to
write this blog.I've been trying to
find the words that express the need of the orphans that I have fallen absolutely
in love with.
Coming on the World Race I knew that there was a
chance that I would have ministry at an orphanage.I honestly prayed that I wouldn't be placed
at an orphanage; I didn't think that my heart could handle it.Five out of the ten months of ministry have
been at orphanages and have proven that I was right.My heart couldn't handle those children,
their love, and their need.
Each month I have felt as if my heart has been
ripped out of my chest, leaving a hole in my chest.Looking back over those five months as I
write this brings a flood of tears, an ache in my heart that can never be
comforted, and a longing that will never be satisfied.I will never be the same.Chunks of my heart are left in Haiti, Dominican
Republic, Malawi, Mozambique, and the Philippines.If God would have allowed me to go home with
any of those children at any point this past year I would have left in an
instant, no questions asked.
The orphans that I've fallen in love with have
loved me for no reason.In the times
that I felt like I couldn't love them anymore and when I couldn't give them
anything, they still loved me.I realize
that it sounds backwards, that the story should be the other way around but
their love has changed my life.
I have spent hours upon hours just spending
time, playing and laughing with orphans.Those orphans have been some of the happiest children that I have met in
my life.They have taught me how to
enjoy the little things and to not take life so seriously.These same children lived in absolute
poverty, many didn't have toys, and none of them had parents.
Some of the hardest times at orphanages are
during the night.I have spent numerous
nights waking up to a screaming, terrified child.Still, I hear the sound of their cry that pierces
my heart.
On those nights we would pray and battle for
them.It was during those nights that I
could not deny the war that is going on for those babies.Terror, assault, loneliness, abandonment, and
pain were all brought to a head at night.Some say that at a young age children don't remember and understand the
world around them.I disagree.
During the night those children knew that they
were abandoned and forgotten.Nothing
could comfort them; no bottle, blanket, rocking, or holding could calm their
fears.Here's where the amazing
testimony of God comes in.
We would hold those children in our arms a say
to them, “You are loved.You are cherished.You have a great Heavenly Father who adores
and wants you.You are precious.You have a purpose.Jesus loves you and you are adopted into His
Kingdom.”Honestly, within seconds they
would stop crying and fall right to sleep.Praise be to God!I am not
exaggerating or making any of that up.Speaking their worth and that they were loved is what comforted them.
Praise God for His love that changes us and
gives us an identity and purpose for life!Everyone is worthy of love, the orphans deserve love.I plead with you that if you have ever wanted
to adopt that you go for it.There are
so many services that would actually give you money to adopt a child.Or if you don't have a heart to adopt a child
but still want to play a part, support someone who is trying to adopt.
This is part of my heart that I've tried to
share with you for a long time now.Please take care of this generation, they deserve it.
Who knows maybe you can support me someday when
I get to adopt! :)
Today, I
walked into a conversation when our contact Mark said, “you end up being a
humanitarian, not a Christian.”I don't
know what they were talking about but that simple statement has me really
thinking.
How often
are we living our lives as a humanitarian, not a Christian?This is a serious question that I cannot
ignore, but one that I need to honestly ask myself.It's a question that isn't just for me
either.
What is the
difference anyways?
According to
the Merriam-Webster and Dictionary.com a humanitarian is “a person promoting human welfare and social reform, pertaining to the
saving of human lives to the alleviation of suffering: a humanitarian crisis.”
Christian
according to the same two sources is “one
who professes belief in the teachings of Jesus Christ, a person who exemplifies
in his or her life the teachings of Christ.”
For me
looking at these definitions I ask myself do I truly live as Christian.Just because I am on an eleven month mission
trip doesn't make me a Christian.If I serve
at a homeless shelter, build houses in Haiti, or make care packages for the
military oversees it doesn't mean that I am a Christian.There is something that separates Christians
from humanitarians and it is not always the “works.”What is it?
Here is an explanation
from World relief, “what
separates the good deeds of Christians from the good deeds of others?
It is the love of Christ. It is not the work being done; it is the heart of the
person doing the work. The fulfillment of God's master plan is not based on the
good works of Christians. In fact, as Joseph realized, God uses every situation
and circumstance. “Even though you intended to do harm to me, God intended it
for good, in order to preserve a numerous people, as he is doing today.” (Gen
50:20)
We do good works to show
the lost the loving hand of God. We do good works to offer hope to others, so
they can recognize the power that resides in our hearts ½" and realize that
power is freely available to them. When the receiver of assistance asks “Why
are you helping me?” what benefit do they receive when the answer is “Because
we feel every person deserves a chance” or “Because it is the right
thing to do”? This fragile hope is based on human kindness, which
will eventually fail them, plunging them back into darkness. Yet when the
answer is “Because Jesus loves you”, the hope is anchored to an
everlasting truth that will never falter.
We are
called to exemplify, embody, and demonstrate Christ.That is what separates Christians from
Humanitarians. The only question that
is left to ask is,
Are you
living a life of a humanitarian or a Christian?
Here's an interesting essay that I stumbled across when I was writing this blog, take it for what it is worth: http://www.ethicsdaily.com/christian-mission-vs-humanitarian-relief-cms-13674
I haven't had internet for most of the race and for
the most part I thank God for it. Recently, I have been checking up on
facebook, email, and news sites.What I see
are updates on how people feel about the latest movies, how their dog is, the
latest song, and how gas prices will be high this summer.What I don't see is news on how victims in
Japan of the earthquake are.I don't see
fundraisers to help families.I don't
see status updates on people going over to Japan.I don't see status updates on how the Lord is
breaking hearts and causing people to pray for Japan.I am concerned about what I don't see.
The truth is that the things that really matter
last a lot longer than the latest fads.The victims are still suffering from lack of clean water, food, and are
homeless.They are grieving from the
loss of their family, friends, and life as they have known it.Their well being is even more important that
trash spilling up on Hawaii's shore.Yes, I understand that people in Hawaii are important too but at this
point what is trash compared to thousands up thousands of lives?
I saw an advertisement on a news website that said “everybody's
business is your business.”They were
talking about the stock market but I thought about what a brilliant statement
it was.As Christians we have a
responsibility, a responsibility that we have slacked on.I am the first to tell you that I have failed
at my Christian responsibility miserably.We need to step up and respond to what is going on in the world and make
everybody's business our business.
The word Christian means to be little Christs, to
be imitators of Christ.We all know the overused,
cheesy statement “what would Jesus do?” but it is a question worth asking.When Christ was here He fed the hungry, gave
water to the thirsty, provided shelter, and had compassion on others, among
many other things.
We don't need the media to tell us that people in
Japan are suffering, we know without anyone telling us that they need
help.Reality is it is easier to follow
a fad than to follow through and be committed to something long term.That is what it will take in Japan, in Haiti,
and in New Orleans " long term commitment.
Please hear my heart on this, I am not attacking
you.I am begging you to step up and do
something about it.For you it might be
donating money for food, water, or shelter, or going to Japan or supporting
others that may already be in Japan or praying daily for Japan.In action doesn't solve or help anything but
action does.
Yeah, I am one of those crazy people that really believe
one person can make a difference, take action.I encourage you to seek what God is doing in this world and what you can
do to imitate Him.
Live
a life that generates a lasting effect.
If you need help with a place to start check out http://worldrelief.org/
